she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
