I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.