Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.