Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.