So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?