So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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