At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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