Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

(702): View more from Nevada

maybe shoes and water too

(702): View more from Nevada

oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

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(702): can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt (702): maybe shoes and water too (702): oh and maybe a noose to hang myself http://tfl.nu/qxrs

Replies (8) Good night (843) Bad night (2701)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I think i peed on brittanys purse

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(314): I think i peed on brittanys purse http://tfl.nu/cbx1

Replies (10) Good night (1829) Bad night (1375)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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(973): if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out! http://tfl.nu/a5qm

Replies (23) Good night (617) Bad night (4568)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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(321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv

Replies (19) Good night (1171) Bad night (4162)
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(650): View more from California

i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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(650): i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head. http://tfl.nu/fao9

Replies (9) Good night (1052) Bad night (3381)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.

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(228): For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears. http://tfl.nu/udc5

Replies (10) Good night (1648) Bad night (3003)
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(807): View more from Ontario

her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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(807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty

Replies (15) Good night (4383) Bad night (919)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?

(419): View more from Ohio

That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.

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(717): So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter? (419): That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing. http://tfl.nu/cjzf

Replies (1) Good night (1362) Bad night (650)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

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(901): Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic. http://tfl.nu/8z3j

Replies (7) Good night (2401) Bad night (561)
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(206): View more from Washington

Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.

(206): View more from Washington

Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.

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(206): Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack. (1-206): Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on. (206): Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together. http://tfl.nu/xcw6

Replies (11) Good night (2149) Bad night (463)
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(720): View more from Colorado

That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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(720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub

Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (585)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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(864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu

Replies (6) Good night (772) Bad night (299)
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(216): View more from Ohio

We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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(216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (221)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college

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(336): Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college http://tfl.nu/8jl4

Replies (6) Good night (235) Bad night (521)
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(281): View more from Texas

This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.

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(281): This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse. http://tfl.nu/ekrm

Replies (7) Good night (201) Bad night (538)

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