Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked

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  (+44): You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked http://tfl.nu/tjun
  Replies (22) Good night (856) Bad night (3266)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you turned your livingroom into a bong?

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  (216): you turned your livingroom into a bong? http://tfl.nu/pj3a
  Replies (27) Good night (4579) Bad night (717)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm

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  (615): i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm http://tfl.nu/dyx8
  Replies (28) Good night (5136) Bad night (765)
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  (323): View more from California

  She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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  (323): She really thought E.D. was a sexually position. http://tfl.nu/ymfw
  Replies (14) Good night (600) Bad night (3712)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
  Replies (55) Good night (8836) Bad night (1375)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay

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  (647): Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay http://tfl.nu/st3m
  Replies (5) Good night (3024) Bad night (903)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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  (931): I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers http://tfl.nu/gzzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2786) Bad night (1187)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...

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  (225): Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM... http://tfl.nu/su1z
  Replies (5) Good night (2231) Bad night (789)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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  (773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn
  Replies (6) Good night (1831) Bad night (662)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
  Replies (7) Good night (2309) Bad night (654)
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  (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

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  (510): Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me (206): That is an interesting fear as well as image http://tfl.nu/r0xy
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (587)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (407)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink

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  (570): I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink http://tfl.nu/cef5
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (318)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

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  (613): How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"? http://tfl.nu/g21k
  Replies (4) Good night (958) Bad night (381)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.

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  (402): I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers. http://tfl.nu/3isb
  Replies (0) Good night (254) Bad night (532)

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