Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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(224): View more from Illinois

The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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(409): View more from Texas

nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

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(253): View more from Washington

Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.

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(469): View more from Texas

I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today

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(206): View more from Washington

Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased

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