p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
