i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
