Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4120) Bad night (750)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.

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  (202): All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well. http://tfl.nu/6mn8
  Replies (6) Good night (4167) Bad night (806)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

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  (617): he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time http://tfl.nu/x6gg
  Replies (21) Good night (1123) Bad night (5485)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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  (770): I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried. http://tfl.nu/6wir
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (3077)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.

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  (214): The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship. http://tfl.nu/tn77
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (695)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

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  (605): Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible. http://tfl.nu/ozx2
  Replies (3) Good night (1635) Bad night (582)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
  Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (548)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?

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  (404): why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan? http://tfl.nu/xwc6
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (468)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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  (870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1801) Bad night (648)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.

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  (334): You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk. (205): Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner. http://tfl.nu/j3pe
  Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (507)
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  (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

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  (310): I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me" http://tfl.nu/p6et
  Replies (8) Good night (1635) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  How's dating the med student working out for you?

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  A true anatomy project.

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  (414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (312)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night

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  (702): we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night http://tfl.nu/elak
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (290)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Daily.

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  (702): Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision (970): Daily. http://tfl.nu/0fgj
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (266)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Tequila.

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  (479): Know anything about my roof collapsing last night? (1-479): Tequila. http://tfl.nu/3wq7
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (249)

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