it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have aggressive nipples.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.