Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
