you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
where am i from again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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