Kiss
Puke
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
