Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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