Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
