I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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