my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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