i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sarcasm needs its own font
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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