Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize