she woke up with a sticky ear
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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