Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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