dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
