He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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