Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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