it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
