I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
