So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
