grandma shit on top of the toilet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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