Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
