Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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