She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
