Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want a musical about memes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
