I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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