coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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