could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
