I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
