that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
