When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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