using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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