Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
