census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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