Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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