Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
