Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
