who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
