my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
