And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
