Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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