It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
