So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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