I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
