This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
