david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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