She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't think brook has ever known best
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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