Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
