i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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