do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
