i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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