I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
