Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
