You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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