You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
